Something occurred to me this week. I make things waaaaaaay harder for myself than they need to be. And ironically, when I actually do things even just a little differently & slightly out of my comfort zone (yes, apparently making things easy for myself is uncomfortable - go figure!), then I am more successful. AND a new twinge of excitement bubbles up inside of me that inspires me and sets my creative juices on fire. I gain a fresh perspective & a feeling of unlimited possibility. Moreover, it allows me to fall in love with my work all over again. I am reminded why I do what I do. AND as a bonus, I remember that I am really good at it. I remember that who I am, and what I have to offer is valuable.
Have you forgotten how good you are? How valuable you are? Are you good to everyone else but leave yourself at the bottom of the priority list, only to find yourself, depleted, frustrated, longing for someone to take care of YOU for a change? Do you get resentful when THEY don't read your mind and know exactly what you need or want? "Why can't they figure out what I need? I figure out what they need all the time? Why can't they be as conscientious as I am?"
The problem here is not that you care too much for others, (Well, not entirely, but we will save that discussion for another time). The problem is that you care too little for yourself. Who is taking care of you if you are so busy managing everyone else's needs & wants? You give far more value on what other people are saying, doing & thinking than you ever afford yourself. Do you really hate yourself that much? What would happen if you ignored your child or your pet the way you ignore yourself? YIKES!
Furthermore, I have some news that you may not want to hear. No one is coming to save you. That's right.YOU MUST BE THE ARBITOR OF YOUR OWN RESCUE! Stop waiting for the winning lottery ticket, or the rich uncle, or the knight in shining armor, or a sugar daddy to come and rescue you from the 'pit of despair' of your own making.
You have the power to change your reality right now. If you want things to change, if you want to attract more love and respect into your life, you must begin by resetting the parameters for how you expect to be treated and loved by others. And to do that, you have to offer that lovingkindness and compassionate care to yourself FIRST! That's right. You have take care of yourself before you can take care of others.
THIS IS NOT SELFISH!! This is essential. Stop abandoning yourself. Your needs & your desires matter. YOU MATTER!
Now I know some of you are rolling your eyes thinking that it's not practical to dream and who else is going to take care of the house and the spouse and the kids and everything else?
My question to YOU is this...
WHO IS TAKING CARE OF YOU??
If you are keeping all the balls in the air, always BUSY, singing the "I never have time for myself' song or some version of your own personal pity party, then I have amazing news for you that will change your life FOREVER. AND BETTER STILL, IT WILL ALSO IMPROVE THE LIVES OF EVERYONE ELSE AROUND YOU.
The fact is like attracts like. When you treat yourself with disrespect, you send out a frequency to the universe which mirrors back to you your own behavior through the people and circumstances you encounter. By making yourself available to do-it-all at the expense of your own well-being, happiness, and desires, you train the people around you that you are ok with being dismissible, invisible, left for last & uncared for. Basically, you get more of what you don't want. So stop blaming your kids, or your job, or your spouse, or your financial situation or time. Instead, take responsibility for your choices and actions AND know this,...
IF YOU ARE SICK AND TIRED OF THE SAME SHITTY RESULTS - STEP OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE!
Try doing something different. Try LOVING YOURSELF FOR A CHANGE!!!
How? Well, what do you do for others that expresses your deep, unconditional love for them? Giving the kids a bath? Preparing a meal for your spouse? Buying gifts? Offering your time and attention?
Now translate that for yourself. Plan a day or an afternoon or even a few hours that are just for you to do something you love that is SPECIAL FOR YOU, not for anyone else. You receive, from you.
I know this sounds foreign or selfish, but trust me. It will make all the difference in the world. When you are taken care of and your well-spring is full and overflowing, you will have so much more to give.
The greatest love affair of all, is to FALL IN LOVE WITH YOURSELF.